Sacramento to Disclose Addresses of Registered Anti-Vaxxers

Reactions are mixed about the county's new anti-vaccine database
Reactions are mixed about the county’s new anti-vaccine database

Sacramento, CA — In an announcement designed to proactively combat a potential pandemic, officials in Sacramento County declared that it plans to publish the names and addresses of “vaccine protesters.”

“We’re taking the lead from other jurisdictions with regards to gun control,” said a Sacramento County Heath Official, “and disclosing the names and addresses of all ‘anti-vax’ people.”

The move, which has been expected by people who study the Illuminati, Chemtrail Conspiracies and follow Alex Jones, is designed to heighten the paranoia of the anti-vaccine crowd, The Fazzler has learned.

“We’re bringing back old-fashioned shame,” continued the health official. “We need to have a real discussion about why these people think vaccinations are a danger. And this should smoke them out. If not, they’ll move to Nevada or Arkansas. Either way, it’s a win for the county.”

Not everyone is happy about this development. The Fazzler reached out to locals to get their reactions.

“The government can kiss my ass before they make me inject a bunch of she-ite into my little one’s body, said Lisa Fellows of Nevada City, CA. “There are so many schools of thought and the government chooses one. We shouldn’t have government telling us what medical procedures we can or can’t do on our children or ourselves. Now they’re gonna publish my address? I’m moving to a more progressive State like Arkansas.”

The Fazzler reached out to government officials in Arkansas to find out if they have plans for a mass emigration from California. They were confused by our request and referred us to Arkansas Behavioral Heath Services.

Others felt this was a larger government conspiracy to control their lives.

“Some people like more governmental legislation; they are sheep,” said Jake Zillevich of Grass Valley in an unending, maniacal rant on Facebook.  “The guise of vaccinating was a method by which eugenics was carried out in the 40’s…just saying. And this address thing, well you do the math.”

Officials say this program will start sometime just prior April 15th when people are done with their taxes in order to capitalize on their angst against the State. The Department of Health will be using the Internet to publish names and addresses on non-compliant citizens.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts


Latest posts

Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location

Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.

Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin

History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"