Study: 63% of Heterosexual Women Prefer Smart Phones Over Men

A recent study has found that 63% of American women would give up sex for their mobile phone.
A recent study has found that 63% of American women would give up sex for their mobile phone.

Palo Alto, CA — A recent study performed by the Palo Alto, California-based Rundex Family Foundation found that almost 63% of all American women would give up sex for their mobile phone if they had the choice.

The 4 year, 2.2 million dollar study sponsored in part by Verizon Wireless set out to find several “usage commitment” questions about mobile devices. The questionnaire was filled out by 12,231 people, and has a margin of error rate of 2.7% and a standard deviation of 0.41. Most of the results were predictable, but the “phone over sex” answers caught researchers off guard.

“It was a standard marketing questionnaire we created,” said Rundex researcher Robert Colvin in a The Fazzler interview. “And we pretty much got the data we expected. 90% of adults own cell phones. 58% own smart phones. Ownership across ethnicity were about even. But then Brad’s [Editor’s Note: Bradley Fontaine, is a research fellow at Rundex] last minute addition about choosing between a mobile phone and sex was a real eye-opener.”

According to the data, 62.6% of all women would choose their smart phone over sex with their male partner if they had to make the choice.

Only 17.4% of men answered the same way. This new data seems to suggest that the Internet, and in particular Social Media, is a substitute for traditional “in-the-flesh” relationships.

As for researcher Mr. Colvin, he tries not to form opinions on his data.

“I just report the data,” continued Mr. Colvin peering over his glasses. “Like I said, I’m a tad surprised, but I don’t like to comment on the data. I leave that stuff up to the marketing people.”

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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