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Cleveland, OH — Cleveland’s Lawrence family dog Smee has undergone a new revolutionary and controversial treatment: they circumcised him. The new procedure is aimed to ease the minds of families wanting to get rid of the “red rocket” that could raise some uncomfortable questions from young children.

Sierra Lawrence, Smee’s owner, spoke to The Fazzler about the circumcision.

“Smee has always been a little different. He only eats kosher food and wears a yarmulke on most days,” said Sierra. “He always looked sad when he licked himself, so we figured we might as well circumcise him, it took a while to find a willing Rabbi.”

The procedure was done by Rabbi Ezekiel Stein. He said, “It was…. different from saying the least. Normally my clients are infants or the occasional porn actor, but a dog? Maybe I found a new niche for my business.”

After the procedure, Smee has been the talk of the dog park. All of the dogs and people have snuck peeks at Smee. One of the women was overheard, wishing her husband would get circumcised.

According to the Lawrence family, Smee has become a much happier dog. He makes eye contact and isn’t as moody. He thanked his family by spelling out “Shalom” in his food bowl. The family says that the only downfall is that Smee spends most of his time licking himself.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.