Living
Several Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In
In a shocking turn of events, the renowned local hero and self-proclaimed "good guy with a gun" dozed off during a pivotal moment, leaving several dead and a community in disbelief. While residents trusted their fate to this armed vigilante, he dreamed of a world where every citizen must holster a firearm—even napping citizens, ensuring there's always a backup "good guy" on standby.
Satire
Nevada City Electrocutes Elephant to Demonstrate the Dangers of 5G
A stunt to prove the dangers of 5G wireless technology is drawing criticism.
Chemtrails
The Saudis Nationals Admit to Blowing Up the Georgia Guidestones
In a statement released earlier today, the government stated that the Georgia Guidestones were a secret Saudi Arabian military base built in the 1980s as part of a covert operation.
Living
Police Sue Woman for Blocking Tear Gas with Her Face
A woman in a coma is being sued by Texas Police for interfering with their peacemaking operations.
National News
ShamWow! Wins Best Murder Clean-up Towel for 11th Consecutive Year
The famous ShamWow! absorbent chamois-like towel has won its 11th consecutive award for best murder cleanup product at the 22nd annual Crime Scene Clean-Up conference sponsored by Crime Scene Clean-Up Magazine held at Newark, New Jersey's Aramark Convention Center.
Living
Biden Offers Laid Off Coal Workers Betamax VCRs
The President's critics say this is another example of him being out of touch with average Americans.
Satire
Area Worker Implements Nuclear Strike Protocols During All Hands Meeting
A shocked Adjunct Video CEO Jeffery Oldheim seen here listening to co-worker Perry Clayson rattle off nuclear preparation protocols.
Satire
Pet Cougar Makes Neighbors Nervous
Residents of the usually quiet and worry-free neighborhood of Somerset Drive have something to occupy their minds. Their Neighbors have just acquired a pet cougar.
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