Mysterious Light Beam Photographed Over Nevada City, CA

Nevada City, CA — Several readers have contacted The Fazzler with reports of a mysterious light beam emanating from the sky above Nevada City, CA. According to more than one caller, the mysterious light beam seemed to originate beyond sight in the upper atmosphere and “landed” on Coyote Street in north Nevada City. No injuries were reported.

“I was getting off on Uren Street when I heard what I thought was buzzing thunder,” said local fixture Toby “Doob” Carnevale of Nevada City. “Which was weird because it was sunny. I was on my way to cash a check at SPD [market] when I saw this flash of light. So I pulled over and snapped a picture. I didn’t think it could be dangerous or anything like that.”

According to other witnesses, the light lasted for about 2 minutes and was silent except for the initial buzzing sound that many reported.

“I don’t know what to make of it,” said Nevada City resident Stacy Grant who had just picked up her kids from swimming at Pioneer Park. “My daughter saw it first and said ‘whoa,’ that’s when we all heard the buzzing, and we pulled over. There was no cloud in sight, so it wasn’t lightning or anything like that.”

There have been numerous sightings of similar light beams over the Earth in the past few days. The most famous one was spotted just before the massive explosion in Tianjin, China. Many have speculated that this beam is a space weapon created by the United States government and that the explosion in Tianjin was the first shot in escalating tensions between the US and China.

“The word is already out that we are at war with China,” said amateur astronomer and conspiracy theory expert Keith Bradenshauer of Alta Sierra. “Many of us who’ve been studying this already know the United States has weaponized space. And this, while not the Black Knight Satellite, uses the technology we lifted from it during a rendezvous we had with it a few years ago on a Space Shuttle mission. It’s a vaporizing weapon.”

There have been no reports of injuries or property damage.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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