Nevada City Man Claims He’s Rightful King of England

Nevada City, CA — A Nevada City, CA man has taken out a full-page advertisement in the New York Times claiming he is the rightful King of England and that he will ascend to the throne after the death of the current sovereign Queen Elizabeth II. Michael Fair Davies of Cottage Street in Nevada City paid over $22,000 to run the ad in which he hopes to convince the English crown of his rightful place as monarch. The ad will appear on the back page of this Sunday’s New York Times national edition.

Evans claims to be a descendant of Cunedda Wledig, who was an important figure in the founding of the Kingdom of Wales. He also claims that since his family came to America, he has been in an “unbroken line” of primogeniture since the 3rd century. Whatever that gobbly-gook means. His assertion joins a recent stream of American men who claim to be the King of England.

“I come from a long line of sovereigns,” said Mr. Davies cocking his head to the right. “I know what you’re thinking. ‘This guy is off his rocker.’ Well I can understand that. This is an amazing claim. But I have the papers to prove it and we’ve talked about it in my family for decades now. Once the ‘Liz [Queen Elizabeth II of England] croaks, I’m in. It’s really that simple. Don’t believe what the fake mainstream media tell you about Prince William.”

This isn’t the first time Mr. Davies has been in the news. In late 2011, he found himself in court defending himself against libel and slander claims against area man Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley after Mr. Davies accused him of having a small penis and overcompensating for that by driving an over-sized truck and threatening “the Liberals.” The case was dismissed. Later in 2012, Mr. Davies found himself in hot water again when he attempted to sell 27 houses he claimed to own, but didn’t. Starting in January of 2012, he listed many of the homes on Craigslist claiming they were subject to “huge discounts” and will “go quickly.” Mr. Davies, who is not a licensed real estate agent, also published property pictures and addresses  which caused considerable distress to their current owners.

When asked about these earlier transgressions, Mr. Davies bristled.

“This is what we’ve come to expect from fake news,” he continued. “There is a massive George Soros-Rothschild conspiracy to cover up my ascension. So it makes sense that elites are doing everything they can to keep the truth out. Trust no one and question everything. Don’t believe everything you read.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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