John McCain Found Disoriented Yelling At Himself To Get Off His Lawn

John McCain was found disoriented on his lawn at his Arizona home.
John McCain was found disoriented on his lawn at his Arizona home.

Phoenix, AZ — Senator John McCain of Arizona, who began his Congressional career in 1982, has come under fire by both supporters and opponents as being “out of touch.” McCain turned 81 this year and many agree it may be time for him to retire. McCain, a former P.O.W. during the Vietnam War, was one of the inquisitor’s during this week’s testimony by James Comey. McCain asked questions completely unrelated to the testimony. He appeared to be lost at times and seemed to show signs of dementia.

Phoenix police were called to McCain’s residence, where the Arizona Senator was standing on his front lawn and appeared to be lost. Police say he kept slapping himself and yelling, “Get off my lawn!” Police were able to coax McCain into the squad car where he was transported to a local hospital for observation.

Police spokesman Greg Dimenna spoke to The Fazzler about the incident.

“Yes, we did indeed transport Senator McCain to the hospital, he really seemed out of it,” said Dimenna. “We think he wet himself and just kept screaming ‘Get off my lawn’, it took us a while to get to him since we couldn’t walk on the lawn.”

There is has been no word from Senator McCain’s office about his condition. The hospital would only say that he is stable and being held for observation.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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