ShamWow! Wins Best Murder Clean-up Towel for 11th Consecutive Year

Newark, NJ — The famous ShamWow! absorbent chamois-like towel has won its 11th consecutive award for best murder cleanup product at the 22nd annual Crime Scene Clean-Up conference sponsored by Crime Scene Clean-Up Magazine held at Newark, New Jersey’s Aramark Convention Center. The ShamWow! beat other competitors for the coveted award by a large margin, according to event organizers.

Those outside the crime scene clean-up industry may have never heard of the innovative faux chamois, but it has been the darling of crews since its introduction in and 2006 in what is now heralded as the greatest infomercial of all time. The product has since gone on to sell an incredible 20 12 10 times more units than its inventors could have ever dreamed of!

“It’s an extreme honor to win the Palm-De-Ors award again for the 11th time,” said ShamWow! spokesperson Bethany Millbright. “I’m not just saying that because I work for ShamWow! I’m saying that because I’ve used the ShamWow! in my murder clean-ups. It saves so much time, so I can get back to the things I love doing, like sewing, cooking, and burying dead bodies in the forest. It holds ten times its weight in blood and other bodily fluids. I mean, who has time for that? Not me. Imagine what it can do for your other troublesome felonies?”

According to ShamWow!, for a limited time in honor of this prestigious award, they’re offering not one, not two, but four Shamwows for the price of two if you order now and mention the word “murder” when speaking with an order specialist.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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