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Ivermectin, CA — The tiny hamlet of Ivermectin, located on the Marin County coast, has a message for those looking for off-label cures for COVID-19: stay away. Ever since the popular horse and cow dewormer of the same name became a popular, dangerous, unproven coronavirus treatment, the usually quiet town on Highway 1 has been inundated with people seeking miracle cures.

“For the longest time, it was an inside joke around here,” said Ivermectin Mayor Joyce Kendall, speaking over coffee at the Coast Cafe. “You know, down at Clancy’s [a local bar], a sign says ‘Booze is better for worms.’ But when this COVID thing hit, and every crazy and coughing Tom, Dick, and Harry started showing up here looking for a cure, we had to stop it. So if you’re not from around here, it’s best to stay away until this thing blows over.”

According to Mayor Kendall, with a population of 1,420, the town is hardly a metropolis, but it’s like any other small town in the United States.

“We know everyone around here. And better, we know who has livestock. So if you go into Nickels Hardware and ask for some horse ivermectin, and we don’t know you, you will be asked to leave.”

Ivermectin is a broad-spectrum anti-parasitic with approved uses in animals and humans. Pharmaceutical giant Merck developed the drug in the late 1970s. In veterinary medicine, it is indicated to prevent and treat heartworm. Ivermectin, the town, was founded in 1876 by Swedish immigrant Hej Knulla after he sought a more rural life away from “the stench of San Francisco,” according to a biography published in 2002. He called the town Ivermectin after his ancestral home. Ivermectin’s affluence came from its proximity to Hydrochloroquine mines in the 1930s.

According to Mayor Kendall, as many as a hundred sick medical tourists show up each day, clogging both the hardware store and the small clinic. The latter was already short-staffed.

“It’s just terrible. We hardly have the room for this nonsense. All they had to do was get the vaccine. I spoke with one visitor just yesterday, and she said she didn’t trust that ‘Dr. Fauci guy.’ But you’re willing to trust an unproven and untested dewormer? These people are so stupid.”

Ivermectin has appealed to the county for help, summoning the Sheriff on more than one occasion. In addition, there are signs posted at the city limits warning visitors to stay away until further notice.