Grass Valley Teen Gets Pregnant at Teen Pool Party, Parents Sue

Grass Valley, CA — An old myth about getting pregnant in a pool has been proven correct. This morning, a 17-year-old teenage girl has become pregnant after a pool party went wrong, reports the Union newspaper of Grass Valley, CA.

A simple weekend pool party turned to tragedy when one of the young men (Tommy Conner) attending the birthday celebration ejaculated in the pool without warning the house guests, accidentally ending up impregnating at least one young woman present at the party. Three young men claim they are as well, but experts at the Nevada County Department of Health and Human Services claim that’s impossible.

This past weekend, the party was held off of Greenhorn Road, and as many as 50 Nevada Union high school students attended. The Sheriff was called to the residence at 2:30 am and ordered everyone to go home. Law enforcement cited no one, including the homeowners nor the teens.

“I’m glad I didn’t have my swimsuit that day,” remembers Mattie Constriker of Nevada City, who was present during the celebration. “It was a surprise party to celebrate my 16th birthday. Let’s just say that a baby in my womb is the kind of present I’m glad I didn’t get,” she acknowledges, visibly relieved of not getting pregnant.

The parents of the teenage girl are seeking unspecified damages from the Conner family.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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