Why You Should Be Drinking Your IPA Through Your Nose, and Other Drinking Alternatives

Are you tired of the same old way of drinking IPA beer? Do you want to spice up your drinking experience with some off-the-wall methods? Well, look no further! Here are some unique and reasonable ways to consume your favorite IPA beer:

  1. Drink it through your ear: Simply pour a small amount of IPA into your ear canal and let the hops and malt do their magic. This method is especially effective if you’re trying to cure an earache or if you just really love the sensation of beer trickling down your eardrum.
  2. Spray it into your mouth: With the help of a spray bottle, you can spritz your IPA directly into your mouth for a refreshing and invigorating experience. Bonus points if you can do it while blindfolded!
  3. Inhale it through your nose: This one is not for the faint of heart. Simply pour a small amount of IPA into a bowl and take a deep sniff. The aroma of the hops and malt will fill your nostrils and give you a head rush like no other.
  4. Drink it through your toes: This one is a bit trickier, as you’ll need a flexible enough foot to hold a pint glass. Simply fill a pint glass with IPA and slip your toes through the handle. Then, tilt your foot back and let the beer flow into your mouth.
  5. Drink it through your armpit: This one might be a bit of a stretch (pun intended), but it’s worth a try. Simply fill a funnel with IPA and place it under your armpit. Then, let the beer flow directly into your mouth for a unique and aromatic drinking experience.

So there you have it – five totally acceptable ways to drink your favorite IPA beer. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a beer-drinking novice, these methods will surely bring a smile to your face and a buzz to your brain. Remember to drink responsibly and never try these methods while operating heavy machinery or driving a car.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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