Area Man Thwarts Operation Jade-Helm with Internet Comments

Jason Dant of Penn Valley, CA claims he single-handedly stopped Jade Helm.
Jason Dant of Penn Valley, CA claims he single-handedly stopped Jade Helm.

Penn Valley, CA — Local survivalist and gun store clerk Jason Dant was shocked when he awoke to a peaceful April morning.

“No soldiers in the streets, no curfew, and my massive arsenal of loaded firearms was still safely hidden throughout my apartment,” Dant recalls, “it was unsettling.”

Operation Jade Helm, a United States military drill conducted across much of the country, was scheduled to complete the previous day. Dant, like many others, believed the actual goal of the operation was to disarm citizens and enact martial law.

Dant realized that something must have occurred to stop, or at least delay, the hostile government takeover. He headed to his local library to search for answers on the Internet.

“My first theory was that the operation was carried out as planned but we had been placed under a type of perception manipulation that prevented us from noticing,” Dant explains, “However I debunked that. The government is still 5-10 years away from achieving that level of thought control.”

Eliminating all other plausible explanations left Dant with a surprising conclusion. “It was me,” he said, “I stopped Operation Jade Helm.”

Dant credits his persistent presence in the comments section of various websites as the key factor that halted the massive government conspiracy in its tracks.

“If I’m not at work and the library is open you can bet I’m online making sure the truth gets seen,” Dant adds, “I’m dedicated to waking people up. I’ve done the research. The facts are the facts.”

“Just last week I saw an article about a new post office being built-in Maryland,” he explains, “Now why would a new post office be needed? Mail is nearly obsolete. This is the government building yet another perfectly located military storage facility hidden from the public.”

Dant, logged in under his Facebook account, left his full twelve-hundred word response to the new post office being built-in the comments section of the Maryland local news site that posted the article.

He then logged out of his Facebook account and into one of a fictional character he created to represent someone skeptical of his views.

“I used to wait for people in the comments to argue with me, but I realized they were either propaganda or brainwashed beyond help,” he said.

“So now I post a counter argument to my original comment and then thoroughly debunk that counter argument.” After a heated back-and-forth exchange that went dozens of rounds, Dant’s fictional character admitted that his point of view was persuasive beyond question.

At press time all comments were still awaiting approval from the site moderator.

Seth Johnston
Seth Johnston
Seth Johnston is a stand-up comedian living off-grid in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and, when supplies are low, Portland, Oregon. He observes Nevada County closely by utilizing a variety of remote viewing techniques and files his reports using long distance CB radio. In his spare time he enjoys frantically writing in separate notebooks simultaneously with both hands and also likes to take canoe trips with his dog Chloe. His lifelong dream is to create a new type of math.

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