Search

Articles by

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
facebook
Regional News

Atlantis Found at the Bottom of Lake Tahoe

In an astonishing announcement that has thrown anthropology community into chaos, a group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist Universities have discovered what appears to be Atlantis at the bottom of Lake Tahoe.
Loretta Splitair -
Read
Paranormal

Mothman Sighted on Sacramento’s Tower Bridge

Although Dustin Kemp of West Sacramento is a top performer at his job, he had no desire to beef up his resume with "paranormal researcher."
Loretta Splitair -
Read
Local News

Truckee Couple Freezes To Death Awaiting Star Wars Opening

A Truckee, California couple sadly passed away late last night as they sat waiting in the sub-freezing temperatures for the premiere of Star Wars. Bill and Melynda Gates [no relation to Microsoft mogul Bill Gates] decided earlier this week to camp out at the NorthStar Resort Village Cinemas in order to be first in line to see this holiday season's movie blockbuster.
Loretta Splitair -
Read
Satire

Area Racist Accidentally Polite To Asian Waiter

During a rather routine dinner at local restaurant Asian Gardens, Terry Adkinson was accidentally polite to his Asian waiter after thoroughly enjoying what he believed to be an "authentic oriental meal" of orange chicken.
Loretta Splitair -
Read
Editorial

Area Homeless Publishing Pictures of Safeway Shoppers

The local homeless population is fighting back against hatred.
Loretta Splitair -
Read
Satire

Existentialists Booted from Ross Clothing Store for Smoking

French Existentialists were removed from a Ross Dress for Less clothing store after ignoring numerous requests to stop smoking.
Loretta Splitair -
Read
Satire

US Navy Hospital Arrives at Scotts Flat Lake 2 years Too Late

Not everyone is convinced that the arrival of the USNS Comfort is a good idea.
Loretta Splitair -
Read
Advice

Breaking: GenX Still Doesn’t Give a Shit

We GenXers smirk a lot. Who has time for anything else? We're ancient. It's obvious, OK?
Loretta Splitair -
Read

Want to stay up to date with the latest news?

We would love to hear from you! Please fill in your details and we will stay in touch. It's that simple!

It's for your head.

Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

Fast Access

© The Fazzler| All rights reserved | Always Do The Right Thing