Area Racist Accidentally Polite To Asian Waiter

Grass Valley, CA — During a rather routine dinner at local restaurant Asian Gardens, Terry Adkinson was accidentally polite to his Asian waiter after thoroughly enjoying what he believed to be an “authentic oriental meal” of orange chicken.

“OK,” said a disgruntled and elderly Mr. Adkinson, “I was in that place. And the War Won Ton Soup was fantastic. And I had two oriental beers in me. I can’t remember the name. Sing..sing-song something. Anyhow, the oriental waiter was really nice to my wife and me. So I was happy.”

The term “Oriental” is generally considered an offensive word due to its colonialist overtones, and of course, it clumps entire classes of diverse cultures and countries into one group. It is also considered racist and makes you sound like an asshole.

Even the term  ‘Asian’ is a gross overgeneralization, as people from the world’s most populous region have different traditions, political boundaries, etc. It is generally more appropriate to refer to people from their origin county/province/region, such as Thai, Vietnamese, Hunan, etc. According to the staff at Asian Gardens, Mr. Adkinson is the most polite racist who patronizes their restaurant.

“He’s very polite to the staff,” said a worker who chose to remain anonymous. “he’s by far the nicest racist who comes here.”

As for Mr. Adkinson, the restaurant is his favorite restaurant.

“I’m going back there,” continued Mr. Adkinson, “the food was great, and they had a real oriental staff in all. Heh, it’s our little bit of China here in Grass Valley.”

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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