Truckee Couple Freezes To Death Awaiting Star Wars Opening

A couple froze to death waiting to see the latest Star Wars film.
A couple froze to death waiting to see the latest Star Wars film.

Truckee, CA —  A Truckee, California couple sadly passed away late last night as they sat waiting in the sub-freezing temperatures for the premiere of the latest Star Wars film. Bill and Melynda Gates (no relation to the Microsoft mogul and his wife) decided earlier this week to camp out at the NorthStar Resort Village Cinemas to be the first in line to see this holiday season’s movie blockbuster.

“We got the call early this morning,” said the Nevada County Sheriff’s office, which responded with the Truckee Police after receiving a panicked 9-1-1 call at 5:30 AM from a NorthStar maintenance worker. “And when we arrived, it was really sad. They were both all frozen-up. The weird thing is, they were grinning. Solid, but grinning.  They kinda looked like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. You remember, his frozen face at the end of the movie? That’s somewhat ironic I guess.”

According to friends who accompanied the Gates to the theater, but chose not to spend the night, they had never done such a risky thing before.

“They were more of the “stay-at-home-and-rent-Netflix’ types,” said close friend Jaime Igo who dropped them off at the Village Theaters and snapped the last known picture of the doomed couple. “I didn’t like the idea of them camping out in this weather. It can get well below freezing temperatures at night here. This ain’t San Diego, you know? Anyhow, they didn’t bring anything other than their Patagonia jackets and a blanket. But they insisted they knew what they were doing.”

Star War: The Last Jedi is the second-to-last film in the epic space opera series, directed by Rian Johnson.  It is the second film in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, following Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015). The latest influx to join the religious zeal are doing so as excitement builds over the release of the film which has already smashed box office records by selling more than $50 million worth of advance tickets before its release on Thursday and leading to fans spending days in line waiting for the film’s opening.

The Gates couple, Bill (34) and Melynda (29) were huge Star War fans, according to their friends. In fact, Bill had watched the Star Wars film The Empire Strikes Back over 57 times and had the movie nearly memorized, which his friend Mr. Igo found sad and ironic.

“Well, it seems like Bill didn’t even watch Strikes Back, you know?” continued Mr. Igo. “I mean, there’s that whole scene when Luke slices open the dead Tauntaun creature. When you think about it, it’s kinda ironic, no? I’m not suggesting he should have cut open Melynda or anything. I’m just saying since he was a huge fan, he should have known better.”

According to authorities, they are stepping up patrols around area theaters to prevent another tragedy like this from happening.

“Obviously this is a terrible incident, but it serves as a lesson for others,” continued the Sheriff’s official. “People forget that it’s deadly out there and they need to be careful. Everyone is excited about the new Star Wars film, but it’s still important to use your head. It ain’t worth dying over. And even more tragic, they’re not showing the new Star Wars film there. You have to go to Reno to see it.”

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

More from author

Related posts


Latest posts

Sotheby’s To Auction Off Original Prototype of MyPillow

Sotheby’s stuns with a once-in-a-lifetime auction, offering the original MyPillow prototype—purportedly stuffed with the essence of the American dream—set to redefine luxury sleep and history, one overpriced, patriotically infused bid at a time.

McDonald’s Bids Farewell to Epstein Island’s Last Golden Arches Amid Controversial Legacy

The McDonald’s on Epstein Island has shuttered its windows for good, marking the end of what the company now refers to as a "misguided adventure in international franchising." The closure comes amidst a whirlwind of controversy and a belated corporate acknowledgment that some locations, no matter how potentially profitable, are better left un-McTouched.

Bombshell Uncovered: Hunter S. Thompson’s Lost ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Audition

A recently unearthed photograph has revealed the unimaginable: Hunter S. Thompson, king of gonzo journalism, once commandeered the captain’s seat of a B-52, not in the throes of a drug-fueled fantasy, but as a contender for the iconic role in Kubrick’s 'Dr. Strangelove.' The discovery challenges everything we thought we knew about the man who lived on the edge of American sanity.