Board of Supervisors to Supply Local Halloween Blood

On October 27th, the Board of Supervisors will vote to drain more blood from Nevada County.
On October 27th, the Board of Supervisors will vote to drain more blood from Nevada County.

Nevada County, CA — As Halloween approaches, a Nevada County Attorney is stocking his wine cellar with the blood of Nevada County taxpayers. The local contract attorney is ironically building his new ridge top home with taxpayer money earned by offering legal services to Nevada County, which, in turn, prevents less connected constituents from building a ridge top home.

The showplace home of the attorney, boasting extensive wine caves, will actually house the blood of Nevada County taxpayers. Residing locally since 2005, attorney Count Tolancuono had been able to hide his lust for taxpayer blood until recently, when he could no longer conceal requests for more in the consent calendar of County Board of Supervisors meetings.

The October 27th Nevada County Board of Supervisors meeting agenda Consent Calendar requests an additional $150,000 to Count Tolancuono’s Grass Valley law firm, intensifying the hemorrhaging of Nevada County taxpayer dollars to fund an unwinnable lawsuit against the County of Nevada, bringing legal fees to nearly half a million taxpayer dollars.

Sadly, though anemic Nevada County taxpayers have little blood left to offer in this multiyear bloodletting, the October 2015 Vintage is scheduled for bottling.

“Consuming blood is what Counts do.” Tolancuono defended his actions as perfectly normal behavior. “Especially when it is offered willingly.”

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Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo
Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo
Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo has written for years about the convergence of key life events and cooking. She has written extensively about the eating habits of mouthy children and wayward spouses combining wit, sarcasm and occasionally anger into her cookbooks. Her New York Times Bestseller, Cooking When You're Angry, stayed in the top ten in not only the Food and Living category, but also the Self-Help one as well. She is currently working on her latest and untitled cookbook, from which some of the recipes will be featured in Gish Gallop. Look for it soon.

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