The Fazzler Recipe: Placenta ala King

Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo is Earth's only life event cookbook writer.
Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo is Earth’s only life event cookbook writer.

Here’s a recipe my grandmother used to talk about all the time. She raised eight children during the Great Depression and never wasted a single morsel of food. And given that she had eight children, she became abreast of the afterbirth’s value.

And by the time her 19th grandchild arrived decades later, feeding so many mouths was such a challenge that her children were encouraged to breed just for the placenta that would feed the entire family a wholesome dinner. Oh sure, there was a lot of “but mommy, mommy, I don’t LIKE little brother!” followed by “Shut up and keep eating,” but grandma, being a strong matriarch, would have no lip at the table.

You can imagine my excitement when the Nevada County The Fazzler ran a recent story about a North San Juan couple fighting to eat their placenta. I was surprised that the hospital just didn’t hand it over to them, because when Grammie was a young, child-bearing woman, they not only gave her the after-birth, but offered her the placenta of other women in the hospital. None the less, here is an updated/modernized version of one of my grandmother’s favorite recipes.

Ingredients

  • 1/4 pound sliced fresh organic mushrooms, soaked for six hours during a waxing moon in ¼ cup filtered water; drain, reserving liquid
  • 1 female organic green bell pepper, chopped
  • 1/2 cup organic salted butter
  • 1/2 cup freshly ground organic whole wheat flour
  • 1 teaspoon Frontier Hawaiian red salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons organic free range chicken bouillon powder
  • 2 Tablespoons sherry
  • 1 1/2 cups organic milk
  • 1 1/4 cups hot water
  • 1 fresh placenta, chopped into bite size pieces
  • 4 ounces chopped organic pimento

 Directions

  1. Saute mushrooms and green pepper in butter over medium heat for 5 minutes.
  2. Remove from heat. Stirring constantly, slowly add flour, salt, and pepper.
  3. Continue to stir constantly over low heat until mixture is bubbly. Remove from heat.
  4. Stir in bouillon, milk, water, sherry and reserved mushroom liquid. Gently heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir for 1 minute.
  5. Stir in placenta and pimiento. Heat through.
  6. Serve over gluten free egg noodles.
Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo
Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldohttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009555017033
Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo has written for years about the convergence of key life events and cooking. She has written extensively about the eating habits of mouthy children and wayward spouses combining wit, sarcasm and occasionally anger into her cookbooks. Her New York Times Bestseller, Cooking When You're Angry, stayed in the top ten in not only the Food and Living category, but also the Self-Help one as well. She is currently working on her latest and untitled cookbook, from which some of the recipes will be featured in Gish Gallop. Look for it soon.

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