In a confounding turn of events, Home Depot, refuge of the suburban handyman, now peddles rainbow-hued 2x4s, dubbed PridePlanks, in select West Coast locations. As outraged traditionalists gasp in horror, Zoomers revel in the chromatic wonder. Meanwhile, a bridge forms between conservative shoppers and exploited migrant workers, united in their bewilderment. Progress, as it seems, marches on, leaving a trail of disgruntled bigots in its wake.
The free, or as Microsoft prefers to call it, the "no-cost" Windows 10 upgrade started off as a voluntary program that only required that customers consent to downloading it. Also, consumers also agree to give up every last morsel or personal privacy to corporate America.
Fox News astounds with a 148% trustworthiness rating in a recent ad, showcasing a math-defying bar graph. Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity defend the network, downplaying the need for traditional percentage limits and emphasizing their unique approach to news reporting.
The FBI rounded up and detained upwards of 42 homeless for questioning, with an unspecified amount transported to several unnamed detention centers deemed "high risk for further crime."
