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Chihuahua, Mexico — An incident in this peaceful complex has police and residents alike scratching their heads as the gunmen responsible for 26 fatalities are allowed to run free. Without collars.

It was a quiet day in a quiet neighborhood in a quiet city in a calm country when gunshots rang out, causing several dogs to bark. One of the dogs had his paw on a service revolver, and another had his paws on a gun. If it wasn’t for the 4th of July celebrations and the ensuing explosions, people might have noticed that there were two pint-sized dogs shooting at each other and barking. According to authorities, several of the 26 casualties of the Chihuahua shootout walked right into the line of fire.

“We don’t know whose dogs they are. We don’t know,” said Manuel Ruiz as the officer handed him back his handgun, one of many used during the Chihuahua shootout, “they are always barking, but they seem very happy, even when they are shooting people.”

When asked why a chihuahua had his loaded handgun in the street, Ruiz responded, “I don’t know, but the little guy wasn’t a bad shot. If I can keep them from killing each other, I may get them their shots, license, and let the landlord know I am going to adopt them.”

Asked if he has any plans to prevent this kind of intimate violence from breaking out in the future, Ruiz elaborates, “I’m just glad they gave me back my gun, it used to be my father’s, you know? I don’t know if they’ll give me back all the others. I shouldn’t have left them on the lawn to dry when those two little guys are running around. I’ve seen the brown one with the waggly tail turn out to have a funny kind of justice about him. The other one likes the game of it.”

At that point, he gestured vaguely to the front gate of the apartment complex where at least one of the little dogs probably ran off and stole his car.

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