Local Researcher Claims Mars Curiosity Rover’s Photos are Fake

North San Juan, CA — Area researcher Skyy Wolford announced to a largely disinterested crowd in front of the North San Juan Sierra Super Stop that the Mars Curiosity Rover never landed on Mars, and has been roving the semi-arid grasslands outside the Truckee, CA airport.

“See for yourself,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Wolford as he scurried about showing his pictures to tourists pumping gasoline. “These pictures totally prove that NASA has never been to Mars. In fact, they only place they’ve been is to Truckee. And Photoshop for that matter. Although Photoshop is not really a place, you know. It’s a program used by deceivers.”

According to Mr. Wolford, who has spent over 5 years studying every aspect of the various Mars missions, NASA has been publishing the landers in various photo-altered landscapes around Earth. It just so happens that Mr. Wolford was driving to Tahoe City one afternoon on highway 267, when he looked out his window and recognized the landscape.

“Look,” continued Mr. Wolford, “I’ve been studying these NASA photographs for years, and something was just not right about them. I mean, they’re supposed to be on Mars, of course, but they looked familiar, you know? So when I was on the 267 causeway and looked over and saw the field, I turned my car around and headed home. And sure enough, I nailed it. I have the proof now.”

A NASA-provided Mars Curiosity Lander photo of "Mars" (LEFT) and a random field on Highway 267 in Truckee, CA (RIGHT)
A NASA-provided Mars Curiosity Lander photo of “Mars” (LEFT) and a random field on Highway 267 in Truckee, CA (RIGHT). Click to enlarge.

The proof Mr. Wolford has is a 2014 NASA photograph the depicted the Mars Curiosity Rover in what appears to be an open Truckee field just south of the airport, however the photo has been doctored to resemble the barren Mars landscape.

“I have these before and after pictures,” said Mr. Wolford pointing at the Curiosity photo he supplied to The Fazzler,  “And you can totally see they just overlaid the rover over top of the highway garbage and added a red filter or something. It’s a total fake. We’ve never been to Mars.”

Mr. Wolford said he has more photos proving that we’ve never been to Mars, the moon. He even suggested that the world might be flat, but was not able to provide any evidence to support that claim.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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