Local Woman Uses Internet to Self-diagnose Gluten Disease

Shelly Wagner seen here "researching" scabies and ebola
Shelly Wagner seen here “researching” scabies and ebola symptoms as well.

Grass Valley, CA — After spending over 12 hours “researching” ailments on the Internet, Shelly Wagner of Grass Valley, CA has determined that she has Celiac Disease. As the mother of two children, she has been feeling low on energy recently. So she took to the Internet to figure out what’s wrong with her. And that’s when she discovered Celiac, or as she likes to call it, “Gluten Disease.”

“I just know it has to be all this gluten I’m eating,” said Ms. Wagner in a The Fazzler phone interview. “Pasta, bread, Cheez-Its and Macaroni and Cheese. I’ve got it [Celiac Disease] for sure according to WebMD, Wikipedia and several other websites I visited.”

Celiac Disease a small intestine autoimmune disorder that occurs in genetically predisposed people of all ages from middle infancy onward. Symptoms include pain and discomfort in the digestive tract, chronic constipation and diarrhea, failure to thrive in children, anemia  and fatigue. For the Google Internet Researcher, Celiac Disease is synonymous with “gluten.”

Experts aren’t quite sure how people get celiac disease, but the evidence seems to point to a genetic predisposition. Most doctors and health experts are reasonably convinced that most people do not suffer from this rare and often life-threatening disease. Many people, instead suffer from a more common form of Internet Hypochondriasis.

Ms. Wagner, who isn’t  licensed for anything, nor does she have any degrees in any Health Science field remains convinced that she has properly diagnosed her condition.

“I’m not even sure what gluten is,” continued Ms. Wagner, “but I’m going to stop eating it because I have all of the symptoms. I’m tired all the time, I have stomach discomfort and I eat a lot of gluten. And besides, maybe I’ll lose some weight.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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