Nevada City Decriminalizes Public Nudity

Nevada City, CA — After years of government lobbying by activist groups, Nevada City announced this week that it will become the nation’s first to decriminalize all forms of public nudity and actively encourage it. During a surprisingly uncontentious vote, all members of the city council voted to strike all mentions of public nudity from the police code.

“People are born without any clothes on,” said local nudist advocate Lillian Young of the Body Freedom Collaborative (BFC) speaking after the decision in front of the National Hotel, “but only the police, judges and the government can decide if its offensive or not? Come on. The people of BFC have collectively spent fifteen years in jail because of our belief in the beauty of the human body.”

The language in the new ordinance specifies that no police officer or another government official shall interfere with or impede “the public display of nudity as long as a said nudist is not in violation of other laws.” In a particularly progressive move, the council released a memorandum which contained language condemning other municipalities for “draconian punishments for the simple act of being human.”

“It’s absolutely true,” continued Ms. Young. “In this very country, you can spend 90 days in jail in New York City and Washington D.C. for expressing your body. In Morocco, you get a minimum of two years in jail and expulsion from the country. This is no laughing matter and I’m glad Nevada City took the bold step into the future.”

This isn’t the first time the plucky Sierra Nevada Foothills town has been in the news for public nudity. In what some believe was a trial test two years ago, the city council allowed the popular Discovery Channel television show Naked and Afraid to film in and around the downtown location, despite numerous complaints from social conservatives and church groups. According to one report, the episode generated approximately $72,000 in desperately needed tax revenue for the city, which seemed to have influenced the government’s decision to decriminalize nudity. While some supported the television show, not everyone is pleased with the government encouraging public nudity.

“This is an immoral disgrace,” said conservative activist and Penn Valley resident Brock Whalen speaking from his Lake of the Pines home. “This is shameful and disgusting. Think of all the perverts and malcontents just hanging out to stare at naked people. And the children. What about the kids? And then there’s the fact that only ugly people get naked, you know? You never see attractive people in the buff, just lazy, fat liberal slobs. It’s just more cultural Marxism taking over America.”

According to a study released from City Hall, the council expects as much as $64,000 per year in increased sales tax revenue due to this new ordinance.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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