Police Warn Jehovah’s Witnesses Targeting Anti-Vaxxer Families

Grass Valley, CA — The anti-vaccination movement has picked up steam lately. Their idea that vaccines cause autism and increase the chance of cancer is extremely controversial in the media. They are being blamed for the outbreaks of diseases that are usually minimal.

With the controversy comes tragedy. Seven families have been murdered in their homes in the last month. All were killed with a hypodermic needle to the heart. The police are baffled. All families killed have not vaccinated their children. That is the only connection. The police are have dubbed the assailant “The MMR Killer.”

Kathy Seeumm spoke with The Fazzler. She is the neighbor of one of the murdered families. “It is just horrible. I cannot believe the Janick’s are gone,” said Kathy. “They would not allow their kids to play with mine for fear of getting sick. You don’t think anyone would mind if I took their grill, do you?”

Police advise all residents to either vaccinate their children or double lock doors and windows at night. Police do not have any suspects at this time.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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