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Drag Queen Storytime of the Constitution Confuses Republicans
Republican leadership, meanwhile, scrambled to respond to the unfolding crisis of constitutional literacy among their ranks. An emergency meeting was called to discuss strategies for combating what they termed "the sudden outbreak of understanding basic civil liberties."
Trump Blames the Price of Eggs in Gaza on The Biden Administration
In a bewildering rally speech, Trump accused the Biden Administration of causing skyrocketing egg prices in Gaza, linking it to Big Mac inflation, leaving supporters and pundits scrambling to make sense of his global food economics.
Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location
Roy Riffle - 0
Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.
AA and AAA Join Forces to Create AAAAA
Some analysts close to this emerging market question the timing of the merger and its long-term viability and business sense.
Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin
History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"
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Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.
Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Terminate Program
Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.
Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.
Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s
Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.
Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2022
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.
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