Trump Announces Plan for Westboro Baptist Church Choir to Perform at His Inauguration

Topeka, KS — After recent reports that the Donald Trump campaign team was having trouble finding entertainment for his potential Presidential inauguration ceremony and several sponsored after-parties, his team has struck a deal with the Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church choir to perform several songs. The infamous church, which proudly displays its “God Hates Fa[redacted]” moniker at all social and protest events, said it was delighted to participate in the Trump inauguration.

“It’s no secret that the Church has never supported any president up until Trump,” said  Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of former outspoken and controversial leader Fred Phelps, “but with Trump, we finally have an executive who will take the fight right to the gays. We don’t even have to protest anymore.”

According to a memo published by the Trump team, the Westboro Choir will perform three selections during the January ceremony, including I Vow to Thee, My Country, O Stop and Tell Me, Red Man, and their controversial, hate-filled original “screamer hymn” God Hates America.

“We are happy to be able to get our message out not only to damned America,” continued Ms. Phelps-Roper, “but also to the rest of the condemned world. It’s like Mike Pence said, ‘get rid of the abominations anyway you can.’ And we believe that a Trump Administration is making this the top priority.”

Several Liberal groups have spoken out against the music selection, calling it “disgusting” and “un-American,” with some media outlets blaming Russian “Fake News” outlets for encouraging and normalizing this kind of “fringe” behavior.

“This is another example of right-wing fake news fooling ordinary Americans into thinking that this kind of thing is normal,” said Joe Biden biographer spokesman Robby Mook. “People, especially Donald Trump supporters, are easily fooled. They just can’t read a headline and look at the site to determine if it’s fake. So now we’re in a situation where the Westboro Baptist Church is a part of the mainstream because of it. And something needs to be done because Joe got over 7 million more votes than Trump.”

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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