National News
Kamala Harris Dances for Climate Justice—And Promises Manitoba Will Pay for It
Kamala Harris combined environmental urgency with a surprise dance routine at a Scranton rally, promising a “wall around oil fields” and entertaining supporters with the “Kangaroo Rat Shuffle” as “YMCA” played.
Chemtrails
Trump Tells Coachella “The Enemy Within” Is Really Just a Bucket of KFC
In a rally for the ages, Trump stuns the crowd with his wild confession: the true “enemy within” isn’t foreign powers or political foes—it’s a KFC Family Bucket, and let’s just say, the aftermath is deadly. Is this his most absurd speech yet? Click to find out how fried chicken and flatulence took center stage.
Alternative
Trump Promises to Make ‘Mr. Twitter’ Press Secretary if Elected
In true Trump fashion, he’s shaking up the White House again, this time by replacing the press secretary with Twitter! Or as Trump calls it, “Mr. Twitter" in his quest for “government efficiency,” Trump’s next big idea involves tweets, emojis, and Musk’s downsizing magic.
Earth News
Iranian Leadership’s Sony PlayStations Reportedly Exploding
Iranian officials’ PlayStations are reportedly exploding, leaving the ruling class grappling with a new “crisis” while citizens endure far worse hardships. Whether it's Israeli sabotage or just bad wiring, the explosions highlight the absurd disparity between the elite and everyday Iranians. Spoiler: most Iranians don’t even know what a PlayStation 5 is.
Alternative
Biden-Harris Admin Accused of Using HAARP to Blow Away Florida Voters
Conspiracy theorists are alleging that the Biden-Harris administration is weaponizing HAARP to control Hurricane Helene and suppress Republican voters in Florida. Theories of mind control, 5G nanoparticles, and chemtrails swirl, but Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich debunks the claims, tiredly reminding everyone that HAARP is a research facility, not a joystick for manipulating elections or the weather.
Art
The Entire John Steinbeck Catalog Now a 5-Minute TikTok Video
Tom Joad stands in disbelief as his family’s struggle is transformed into a five-minute TikTok sensation. Their story, once defined by hardship and dignity, is now a viral meme, shared and forgotten in seconds. As the world scrolls past, Tom realizes that in this digital age, human suffering is nothing more than content for a blind and fleeting audience.
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Chemtrails
You know they are controlling the skies. Here's the proof.
Trump Tells Coachella “The Enemy Within” Is Really Just a Bucket of KFC
In a rally for the ages, Trump stuns the crowd with his wild confession: the true “enemy within” isn’t foreign powers or political foes—it’s a KFC Family Bucket, and let’s just say, the aftermath is deadly. Is this his most absurd speech yet? Click to find out how fried chicken and flatulence took center stage.
Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded
With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.
Biden-Harris Admin Accused of Using HAARP to Blow Away Florida Voters
Conspiracy theorists are alleging that the Biden-Harris administration is weaponizing HAARP to control Hurricane Helene and suppress Republican voters in Florida. Theories of mind control, 5G nanoparticles, and chemtrails swirl, but Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich debunks the claims, tiredly reminding everyone that HAARP is a research facility, not a joystick for manipulating elections or the weather.
Alternative
Sat upright, raising a heavy fur muff that covered the whole of her lower arm towards the viewer. He then turned to look out the window.
Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded
With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.
Trump Promises to Make ‘Mr. Twitter’ Press Secretary if Elected
In true Trump fashion, he’s shaking up the White House again, this time by replacing the press secretary with Twitter! Or as Trump calls it, “Mr. Twitter" in his quest for “government efficiency,” Trump’s next big idea involves tweets, emojis, and Musk’s downsizing magic.
Biden-Harris Admin Accused of Using HAARP to Blow Away Florida Voters
Conspiracy theorists are alleging that the Biden-Harris administration is weaponizing HAARP to control Hurricane Helene and suppress Republican voters in Florida. Theories of mind control, 5G nanoparticles, and chemtrails swirl, but Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich debunks the claims, tiredly reminding everyone that HAARP is a research facility, not a joystick for manipulating elections or the weather.
High Stakes News
And he looked over at the alarm clock, ticking on the chest of drawers. It was half past six and the hands were quietly moving forwards.
Video Report: Source of Zika Virus Revealed
In this exclusive video obtained by The Fazzler from an anonymous informant, the private "virus marketplace" called ATCC is preserving and selling the horrible virus which is being sponsored by the Rockefeller Foundation.
Grass Valley Police Pursue Driver With Oversized Korn Sticker
The assailant Adrian Dyer's car in impound. The car was a hand-me-down from his Grandfather.
New Union.com Poll Asks if Homeless Should Be Killed, Tortured or Imprisoned
A new Union.com online poll has raised more than a few eyebrows.
Unexplained
It's here. It's strange. You want this.
Chemtrail Film Festival Coming To Nevada City, CA
The Chemtrail Action Network (CAN) announced the first-ever traveling Chemtrail Film Festival coming to Nevada City, CA this August. The film festival will be making its first stop in the secluded Sierra Nevada Foothills town for a 4 day run starting on the 14th of August and running until the 18th.
Self-Driving Car Totaled After Bigfoot Encounter Near North San Juan
When the Highway Patrol arrived on the scene, they found a mess of twisted metal and a little bit of hair.
Investigators Stumble Upon Secret Graniteville Bunker
This is where the adventure begins. The following is a edited recount of Moonash's and Mr. Wolford's unusual discovery. Residents of the usually private and esoteric Sierra Nevada foothills community didn't know about this.
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Other News
More Fazzle for your brain.
Alternative
Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.
Chemtrails
Chemtrail Believer Bullied by “Math Thugs”
Mary McAlister seemed surprised that others took issue with her incendiary share of a billboard picture that warned people of the dangers of geoengineering.
Chemtrails
Area Musician Draws Inspiration from Chemtrails
Area musician David Robock used to cite an eclectic mix of influences while he was still cutting his teeth on the local club circuit. Bands like Megadeth, Smashing Pumpkins, and solo artists like Prince and Merle Haggard were a constant source of inspiration.
Satire
Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.
Weird
Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.
Satire
Man Falls Off Foresthill Bridge After Accidentally Shooting Himself While on Heroin
A Mokelumne Hill man is lucky to be alive after falling 730 feet in a failed suicide attempt.
Satire
Nevada City to Become Nation’s First 5G-free Zone
Nevada City, California will be the nation's first town to ban all 5G-related technologies.