Aliens Closing Human Exhibits

San Francisco, CA– Throughout recorded history, alien abductions and sightings have been reported. Especially today, with the dawn of the Internet era, stories come in from all over the globe. But where do people go when they are abducted?

In the first-ever interview with a Galactic Reptillian, The Fazzler got answers to our questions and more. We sat down with Gluurg, a Reptilian from Oklahoma, a world 1,200 light-years from Earth. He has taken on a human disguise. For safety reasons, we cannot divulge who he is.

We asked Gluurg where do humans go once they have been abducted.

“Well, we take them mostly for amusement,” Gluurg said. “We have many zoos across Oklahoma. We display humans there in large exhibits. Occasionally they become house pets to the higher caste of Reptilli.”

There have been a lot of abductees appearing back on Earth in the last few weeks. We asked Gluurg why.

“Well, we are closing all of our Earth exhibits. The humans keep killing each other. The first thing they do is divide into groups of the same race. Then they began fighting over food and religion. It was alarming. We had to set up regular abductions to replace the dead one. We couldn’t allow our children to see that”.

We asked if they ever took anyone famous, “Well, we took a business person named Donald. We had no choice but to bring him back. He kept isolating all the white humans and building walls around them.”

We wondered if we as a planet were in danger, we asked Gluurg.

“No, not since the Chemtrail program has been so successful. We can subdue the population and keep them from doing too much harm. We had to take HAARP out, though. Those guys were insane. They made Hitler look like an amateur.”

As we ended the interview, we asked one final question. We asked for Gluurg’s full name. He replied, “Gluurg Bessee”. A widespread last name, but it sounds very familiar.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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