Area Man Breaks Nose Motorboating

Jason Hendricks broke his nose while motor boating.
Jason Hendricks broke his nose while motor boating.

Grass Valley, CA What started as a fun night out at the Nevada Club ended with a trip to the emergency room for a Grass Valley man Monday night.

Witnesses say Jason Hendricks was in a drunken stupor when he approached a buxom blonde wearing a revealing low-cut top and stuck his mouth between her breasts while rapidly shaking his face in a side-to-side motion, creating sounds similar to an outboard boat motor, an act commonly known as “motorboating.”

“He took a savage beating,” laughed Todd Phillips, a friend of Jason’s who ended up taking him to the Sierra Memorial that night. “She knocked the hell out of himwith her knockers! It was epic!”

Mr. Hendricks suffered a broken nose along with a black eye and possible concussion. The victim of the assault, an unidentified Arizona woman in town visiting friends, declined to comment but shook her head “No” when asked if she planned on pressing charges.

“Serves him right,” said Naomi Johnson, a friend of the victim who witnessed the act. “Hopefully the perv learns a lesson. You can’t go around assaulting women like that,” she said.

A remorseful Hendricks said he has in fact learned a lesson and will never again attempt to “motorboat” a complete stranger while heavily intoxicated, no matter how succulent the woman’s breasts appear to be. “Motorboating is an extreme sport,” he said, “I will learn from this and be back stronger than ever.”

More from author

Related posts


Latest posts

Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location

Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.

Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin

History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"