Area Scientist Demonstrates High-Tech Levitation

Cascade Shores, CA — Edward Grant, 63, of Nevada City, CA, took his prototype “floating boat” out for a spin on a local lake this past weekend. His boat, the Grand Finale, is a modest 32-foot vessel that has been retrofitted with what Mr. Grant calls a “quantum flux enablement device,” which disrupts gravitation fields.

“As anyone who hasn’t graduated from public school knows, gravity is a weak force in the universe,” said a cocky Mr. Grant in a The Fazzler telephone interview. “We already know that we can manipulate it if we interfere with the quantum forces around gravity. So the trick is not to fight gravity, but work with it.”

According to family members, the Senior Grant has always been a “tinkerer” and often spoke highly of other Nevada County innovators who were called cranks during their time.

“Dad is just one of those guys who believes he can do whatever he wants,” said Edward Grant’s daughter-in-law Stacy Grant of Nevada City. He’s got this mad scientist laboratory on his property. The kids love it because he’s got all these Tesla coils and other weird things I don’t understand. Anyhow this levitation thing has been a lifelong dream of his. He says he’s a modern Lyman Gilmore. Sometimes I think he’s channeling his spirit, but not his hygiene, thank god.”

The Senior Grant would not go into any specifics about how we were able to levitate his watercraft, saying that he’s keeping his invention somewhat “hush” at the moment.

“I can’t get into any details,” continued Mr. Grant. “But it involves a lot of energy and magnets.” As to why he chose a boat and something not more practical like a car, he added, “[e]veryone is expecting a flying car, you know? So I wanted something a little more unusual. But, of course, this technology can be used in anything, but that’s for other engineers to figure out.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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