Area “Sheepbull” Sadly Put Down

SheepBull
Tegan the world’s only Sheepbull hybrid animal was sadly put down by animal control for aggressive garden attacks. Source: another David C Jensen shindig.

Cedar Ridge, CA — After making a go of it in the real world, the world’s only “Sheep-bull” was sadly put down after aggressively attacking a local gardener’s tomato plants. This is the third such incident in the past three months that involved the hybrid animal affectionately called “Tegan” by its owners.

“We got her at the local shelter,” said Tegan’s owner Cedar Ridge resident and “exotic” animal collector Pete Johnson. “As soon as we saw her, we knew she had to come home with us, but that’s when the trouble began.”

According to the Johnson’s Somerset Drive neighbors, the sheepbull combined both stereotypical ill qualities of the animals: the aggressiveness of the pit bull with the voracious appetite for vegetation of the sheep. This combo produced an animal that was able to attack and destroy deer fences to gain access to area gardens.

“That damn animal came into our backyard, torn down our peeler log fence, and ate all my god-damned tomatoes,” said recent area transplant Tommy Empire. “I came home from painting all day, and every single one of my tomato plants was trampled and eaten. Come to find out, I wasn’t the only neighbor attacked by Pete’s animal.”

According to the Animal Control report, Tegan escaped from Pete and Jennifer Johnson’s backyard while both were at work Tuesday morning. The hybrid Dog/Sheep creature seized its freedom by grazing its way through the usually quiet Cedar Ridge neighborhood. The animal ate the Smith’s roses and the Billingham’s herb garden. Then Tegan proceeded to munch on some of the litter which was typically strewn in front of the John and Phillis Seymoire’s ranch-style home. The eating escapade finally ended at the Empire’s home, where it fell asleep from over-eating. Tommy Empire discovered the animal and called the authorities.

“Look,” continued an annoyed Mr. Empire, “ever since moving here from Vacaville last year there’s been nothing but trouble. We were already having a hell of a time settling in, and then this. But I have to say, Johnson over there [pointing across the street], to be quite honest, is an inconsiderate weirdo they way he collects animals. Anyhow, I was sad to see the animal destroyed, but we just can’t have an unruly animal like that in the neighborhood.”

Animal Control officials told The Fazzler that Tegan was handled humanely and with the greatest care. Pete Johnson was fined $500 for reckless animal care and prohibited from owning any animals for 2 years.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

McDonald’s Bids Farewell to Epstein Island’s Last Golden Arches Amid Controversial Legacy

The McDonald’s on Epstein Island has shuttered its windows for good, marking the end of what the company now refers to as a "misguided adventure in international franchising." The closure comes amidst a whirlwind of controversy and a belated corporate acknowledgment that some locations, no matter how potentially profitable, are better left un-McTouched.

Bombshell Uncovered: Hunter S. Thompson’s Lost ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Audition

A recently unearthed photograph has revealed the unimaginable: Hunter S. Thompson, king of gonzo journalism, once commandeered the captain’s seat of a B-52, not in the throes of a drug-fueled fantasy, but as a contender for the iconic role in Kubrick’s 'Dr. Strangelove.' The discovery challenges everything we thought we knew about the man who lived on the edge of American sanity.