Area Woman Has Trouble Gathering Wood in Yoga Pants

Jessica Milton of Penn Valley, CA seen here attempting to collect wood in yoga pants. Source: deep in the mind of David C. Jensen
Jessica Milton of Penn Valley, CA seen here attempting to collect wood in yoga pants. Source: deep in the mind of David C. Jensen

Penn Valley, CA — Area woman Jessica Milton admitted to The Fazzler that she found chopping and collecting wood a challenge while wearing yoga pants. The 26-year-old Penn Valley, CA native has collected wood her entire life, and this was the first, and apparently last time she is going to wear pants.

“I’m a country girl,” stated Ms. Milton from the other side of her  gate Wednesday afternoon. “I’m used to wearing jeans and flannel. But lately I’ve tried this yoga thing in Grass Valley. It’s been great for everything collecting wood. Anyhow, I still plan on wearing them as often as I can.”

According to her mother, Jamie Milton, Jessica has always been an “outdoorsy” type.

“Ever since she was a child, she loved climbing on things,” said a proud Jamie, her face glowing with the thought of her adventurous daughter. “We’d go hiking out near Bowman Lake, and she’d just gallop up the steep hills. And boy was she a real eater. She’d eat anything. But not if you dropped it on the ground.”

As for Jessica and her yoga pants conundrum, she is chalking up it up to a learning opportunity.

“Well, I’m never going to do that again,” continued Jessica. “I know they look comfortable, and they’re really bendy and flexible. But you need something a little tougher when you’re out in the field doing your thing. Live and learn.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin

History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"

Metallica’s James Hetfield Celebrates a PhD in Astrophysics

Metallica heavy metal guitarist and lead singer James Hetfield announced on his personal Facebook page that he had just finished defending his PhD dissertation at California Institute of Technology in Pasadena (CalTech), CA