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Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Food

Bernie Sanders Proposes “Enchirito Restoration Act of 2020”

In what some are calling some of the Vermont Senator's greatest achievements, Bernie Sanders took to the chamber floors yesterday afternoon to introduce what he's calling the Enchirito Restoration Act of 2017 which seeks to force fast food giant to re-introduce the enchilada-like item on its menu.
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National News

Oprah Winfrey Buys Entire Graduating Class Electric Cars

In a move that surprised even fans of the famous media mogul, television star Oprah Winfrey bought the entire graduating class of Jerome Ross Academy brand new electric cars.
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Satire

Local Man Fights Agenda 21 with Gold Claim on Area Irrigation Ditch

Jimmie Brenton has illegally staked a claim on a Nevada Irrigation District Canal. He is also crazy.
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Art

Bernie Sanders to Play Noam Chomsky in Upcoming Biopic

According to sources close to Bernie Sanders, the Senator of Vermont has agreed to portray MIT Linguist and Social Scientist Noam Chomsky in an upcoming biopic.
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Living

The Fazzler Salutes Our Heroes: Prince Dead at 57

The artist known as Prince, then as nothing, then as Prince again, who pioneered the Minneapolis sound and took on the music industry in his fight for creative freedom, died Thursday at age 57.
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National News

Trump Bans Thespians from Military Service

In another in a long line of "governing by tweets," President Trump announced early this morning via Twitter that Thespians have no place in the military and will be not allow to serve their country.
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Earth News

Flat Earth Society Releases Flat Earth Beach Ball

The North Carolina chapter of the Flat Earth Society just released what it believes will be the blockbuster water toy of the summer: The Flat Earth Beach Ball.
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Satire

ANTIFA Spotted Guarding Gavin Newsom’s Winery

ANTIFA activists were spotted just outside of California Governor Gavin Newsom's PlumpJack Winery.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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