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Cleveland Sam

Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

Transgender Dog Unsure Which Tree To Pee On

An area dog was involved in an altercation last week on Alta Street Tweety lifted his leg to do his business and was accosted by another dog as that tree was a "male" tree.

Man Shoves Pencil In Eyeball

Mark Nostrom of Columbus, Ohio developed a twitch in his eye, a severe headache followed. His head ached with every word spoken by the native Fargo people.

Yellowstone Bears “Cutting Back” on Obese Visitors

Given that there are a record number of visitors entering the Park each year, and that funding for operations is at all-time low, the park's chief omnivore has had its "pickins" of what to eat

5G Tower Kills Local Man

Local resident Joe Aguinaldo was killed by a cell tower while driving home from Nevada Club where he was nearly arrested for fighting a clown.

Why I Should Be The Next Supreme Court Justice

There is a lot of controversy going on in our government about the next Supreme Court justice and who should be allowed to choose them. I have a simple solution, choose me.

NAMBLA Endorses Ted Cruz

The controversial organization North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), has given its endorsement to Ted Cruz. NAMBLA believes that it is OK and natural for men to "love" boys. They believe it to be the natural order of things and that it should be celebrated.

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