Banner Mountain Residents Terrorized by Roaming “Deer Gardener”

File Photo. The conniving California Mule Deer.
File Photo. The conniving California Mule Deer.

Nevada City, CA — Homeowners in the affluent Nevada City, CA neighborhood of Banner Mountain are discovering that a supposed door-to-door gardener is not a gardener, but rather a California mule deer. Many have been fooled and countless gardens and vegetation have been destroyed.

“I feel so embarrassed to be taken by such a scam,” said Tiffany Rodas of Mayflower Drive. “I’m always on Facebook pointing out scams and linking them to Snopes.com. Man I really blew it.” Snopes.com is a popular web-based “de-bunking” site that Ms. Rodas frequents when surfing the Internet.

The deer, posing as “Mountain Jim’s Agricultural Services,” promises residents to “take care of their gardens” and “that no plant will go untended.” However residents are discovering that this impostor deer, rather than taking care of their gardens, is eating every plant down to the stems and trampling the rest.

“I feel invaded. So vulnerable. I had 15 hybrid tomato plants and ‘Mountain Jim’ ate them all. In like 10 minutes,” complained Herman M. Dean of Banner Lava Cap Road. “We need to do something about these vagrant scam artists. Next they’ll be hanging out at Safeway, molesting us there.”

Deer crime is on the upswing as more of the frolicking forest creatures are encountering home defensive measures such as fences, dogs, and the much-dreaded coyote urine. The Fazzler made several attempts to contact the Nevada County Sheriff’s Department, but none of our phone calls or emails were returned.

“Look, Jim seemed legit. He had this hat on. And a thick green canvas jacket,” laughed James Almaza of Crescent Drive. “And his rates were good. He said he was working to combat animal hunger. Who doesn’t want to help with that?”

According to wildlife officials, you should never under any circumstances feed the animal populations as it creates dependencies on humans, and weakens their instincts.

“These are wild animals. They’re not pets. Do not feed them even if they promise to tend to your garden,” said Jeannette Cunningham of the US Department of Forestry.

“I guess I’ll have to start all over. But I’ll tell ya, I’m never hiring that company again,” Mr. Almaza assured The Fazzler.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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