Domino’s Volunteers Drivers To Fight Upcoming California Wildfires

Chico, CA — After what many are calling a publicity stun with an upside for good where Ann Arbor, Michigan-based Domino’s Pizza filled street potholes in select municipalities, the home delivery giant announced plans help fight several current and future California wildfires.

Following a good citizen model where it donated up to $5000 to cities to help them repair potholes along common pizza delivery routes, Domino’s is stepping up his civic game by volunteering its drivers and select managers to help with the firefighting effort.

“This is the spirit of voluntarism that makes America great,” said Domino’s spokesperson Bethany Millbright regarding the latest self-interested effort to help extinguish wild fires. “Obviously, we will be focusing our prevention and fire-fighting efforts on those roads and routes that serve our customers, which we believe will also help the general population. Mostly, that is.”

A preliminary plan released by the company outlines how drivers and managers will engage in wildfire efforts. During low fire danger periods, Domino’s drivers will be required during their shift to cut-down 1-2 trees that may pose a risk to falling on power lines.  During wildfire incidents, drivers will be expected to drive their Corollas into the fire complex and fight the blazes next to other firefighters.

Domino’s managers will be expected to stand at a distance and criticize driver’s their retardant portion sizes, the condition of their uniforms and the speed at which they’re battling the infernos.

“It’s a win-win for everyone,” continued Ms. Millbright, “Domino’s contributes more resources towards fire-fighting, and cities and towns get a deal.”

The company says their firefighting efforts will commence immediately.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts


Latest posts

Sotheby’s To Auction Off Original Prototype of MyPillow

Sotheby’s stuns with a once-in-a-lifetime auction, offering the original MyPillow prototype—purportedly stuffed with the essence of the American dream—set to redefine luxury sleep and history, one overpriced, patriotically infused bid at a time.

McDonald’s Bids Farewell to Epstein Island’s Last Golden Arches Amid Controversial Legacy

The McDonald’s on Epstein Island has shuttered its windows for good, marking the end of what the company now refers to as a "misguided adventure in international franchising." The closure comes amidst a whirlwind of controversy and a belated corporate acknowledgment that some locations, no matter how potentially profitable, are better left un-McTouched.

Bombshell Uncovered: Hunter S. Thompson’s Lost ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Audition

A recently unearthed photograph has revealed the unimaginable: Hunter S. Thompson, king of gonzo journalism, once commandeered the captain’s seat of a B-52, not in the throes of a drug-fueled fantasy, but as a contender for the iconic role in Kubrick’s 'Dr. Strangelove.' The discovery challenges everything we thought we knew about the man who lived on the edge of American sanity.