False Flag Crisis Actors Vote To Unionize

Typical government crisis actors paid by the government in staged tragedies.
Typical government crisis actors paid by the government in staged tragedies.

Atlanta, GA — False flag operations are occurring around the country most often in the form of mass shootings. There are crisis actors that are hired by the government specifically to take part in the aftermath, to put on a show for the media.

The actors have complained for many years about stagnant wages and no health or retirement benefits. It finally came to a head last Tuesday when a group of “crisis activists” voted to unionize to form the Southern Union Chaos Crisis Actors or SUCCA. After unionizing, the government was forced to agree to their demands for wage increases and government health and a 401K plan to avoid a strike, which would have crippled the government’s ability to stage mass shootings.

The union president, Sarah Connely spoke to The Fazzler about their recent vote.

“We are so excited, finally all the fake blood is worth the time and effort,” said a Ms. Connely. “I think it will be easier on us now to relax and focus on crying and screaming instead of how we will get our kids to the doctor without going broke”.

The Fazzler was given a statement from a confidential source within the government regarding the concessions given to SUCCA.

“DHS is proud to now be associated with SUCCA. They have been  very important in our movement to disarm and alarm the American people. They do a wonderful job playing dead. We often wonder how they do it. The crying and screaming is top-notch. We at DHS look forward to a long relationship with SUCCA.”

According to Ms. Connely, the union is always looking for actors.,  Please contact the Department of Homeland Security for more information.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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