Fight Averted at Safeway Self-Checkout

Safeway Self-Checkout in Grass Valley, CA
Safeway Self-Checkout in Grass Valley, CA

Grass Valley, CA — A fist fight was avoided after a Safeway employee interfered with two angry customers in the self-checkout line late Friday afternoon.

According to witnesses, the fight started between woman in her late 30s and a mid-20 year old female. Apparently there was some confusion about how to queue for the stores 2 sets of self-checkout registers. Although there is little ambiguity with the traditional grocery store checkout process, self checkout lines present a number of sociological challenges for the American consumer.

“Look,” said a still angry Janet Williams of Cedar Ridge, “there are two sets of  self-checkout registers. That means two lines,  just like regular checkout lines. And we’ve got people who just like to follow their own impulses regardless of others around them.”

Tensions started to escalate when Ms. Williams and Susan Hobson began to bicker about who was next for checkout.

“This lady needs to lighten up,” commented a fully tattooed and somewhat irreverent Ms. Hobson. “I was in line, and a registered opened up. So I walked over [to it] and she began to lecture me about cutting in line. I was like, ‘Whoa lady, who made you the boss, in all?’ That’s when she got in my face and started yelling at me.”

According to Safeway management, not having designated lines helps speed customers through the checkout process. Service automation is increasing across all sections of the American economy as consumers demand lower prices and a more isolated, human-free, misanthropic shopping experience.

“I’s kind of similar to a traffic roundabout,”  said a Safeway manager who chose to remain anonymous, “they’re self-regulating. It’s a way we [Safeway] can cut costs and provide customers with a speedier checkout process.”

Ms. Williams said she’ll never use the self checkout again.

“All of this could have been avoided if Safeway would have provided some organization,” continued Ms. Williams. “How hard would that be? And also, I wasn’t the only one  irritated by all of the rude line cutters. I was just the one who spoke up. What’s happened to common courtesy?

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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