Former Mayor Must Attend Council Meetings in a Straitjacket

Nevada City, CA — In a 4 to 1 decision, the Nevada City government voted late last week requiring outgoing Mayor Reinette Senum to wear a Straitjacket to all subsequent city council meetings. The unusual vote took only 45 seconds, with only Ms. Senum voting nay.

The vote followed weeks, some say years, of batshit crazy statements from the former two-time mayor.

“I don’t want to comment other than to say I’m relieved this chapter is behind us,” sighed fellow council member Duane Strawser taking a moment to rub his eyes and run his fingers through his hair. “It’s been difficult, but we think this will help restore civility both in our chambers and in Nevada City.”

Ms. Senum has been a lightning rod for stupid in Nevada City for the past few years. Her comments and actions have created a swampy derp coalition of conspiracy theorists, paranoid anti-vaxxers, flat earthers, chemtrail believers, and of course, people who are afraid of modern appliances. In recent years, she had even aligned herself with disgraced crazy nutsack Alex Jones, when she insisted that government crisis actors staged the Sandy Hook shootings.

Since the beginning of the global COVID-19 pandemic, Ms. Senum has led local efforts to resist mask-wearing, with her and her supporters either downplaying the severity of the disease and, in some cases denying it even exists. This, in a community overwhelmingly stocked with thousands of elderly, immune-compromised, and other at-risk people. And as if this wasn’t bad enough, the former mayor viciously attacks anyone who comes from reality accusing them of Nazi-like tactics.

“No YOU[sic] are all freaking scary,” said Councilmember Senum attacking a citizen who, she called a ‘brown shirt’ for suggesting that masks are a sensible way to control community spread. “You are behaving like nazis. You would be the first in line to stack your neighbors in a freight car. And you know that the nazi soldiers said to the jews as they loaded them up? Es ist zu Ihrer eigenen Sicherheit. It’s for your own safety.”

In other conversations, she excoriated a transgender woman to “stop paying attention to your vagina, and pay attention to your overall health,” after the woman cited a report that said COVID-19 was highly airborne. “You are fear-mongering. This is not a pandemic. If it was, half of the US population would already be sick and dead for gods[sic] sake,” Ms. Senum continued.

The order takes effect immediately. Ms. Senum is being fitted for a straitjacket this week. She requested special 5G and chemtrail shielding, which the council said they’d be happy to pay for.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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