George Jefferson Annoyed By Proposed New State

George and Louise Jefferson shown here in a file photo.
George and Louise Jefferson shown here in a file photo.

New York, NY — Harlem-born, African-American entrepreneurial success story  George Jefferson is not pleased with the 51st State of Jefferson being proposed in Northern California and Southern Oregon.

“I don’t know whose idea this is,” proclaimed an annoyed Mr. Jefferson, “but they should have contacted me first. Being the real Jefferson. The answer is no. Not liking it. If you come to ask me about the cocktail party, the answer’s no, and if you’ve come to ask me about anything else, the answer’s still no. Got it?”

State of Jefferson organizers did not reach out to George Jefferson and his wife Louise (Weezy)  for input over its 70 years of planning. Sources close to Mr. Jefferson maintain that this is the genesis of his anger.

“You’re not going to find anyone more American than George,” said family friend Tom Willis. “I told him about this new State, and he said he and Weezy belong on the flag. Hard to argue with that.”

According to 2010 census data, the proposed State, which 82% of its 1,416,434 citizens will reside in Oregon, would be mostly white and somewhat crazy.

Here is the George Jefferson Approved State Flag. Thank you.
Here is the George Jefferson Approved State Flag. Thank you.

The State of Jefferson’s flag is green, and the charge is the Seal of the State of Jefferson: a gold mining pan with the words “The Great Seal Of State Of Jefferson” engraved into the lip, and twoXs” askew of each other. The two Xs are known as the “Double Cross”, and signifies the region’s sense of abandonment from the state governments in both Salem, Oregon and Sacramento, California.

“If they’re going to have a State of Jefferson,” continued Mr. Jefferson, “they better put Weez’ and me on the flag.”

Request for comments from State of Jefferson supporters were not returned. Also, Bill Cosby was unavailable for comment.

 

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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