Jill Stein: Homeopathy a ‘Key Ingredient’ in Healing Russia Relations

Asheville, NC — At a recent rally, former Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein announced to a crowd of almost 32 people in Asheville, North Carolina, that she thinks homeopathy would be a key ingredient in her Russian foreign policy. Speaking at the French Broad Food Co-Op on Biltmore Ave, the physician and former pop singer wanted to clarify that it would be part of a broader approach to dealing with Vladimir Putin.

“I am excited to engage with President Putin on all sorts of topics,” said Ms. Stein to the somewhat anxious and restless gathering. “I think all options are on the table.  We’ve tried so many approaches that have just not worked, and it’s time for a new deal. Just being tested and reviewed by agencies tied to big pharma and the chemical industry is also problematic. That’s why I think we should try homeopathy and other things like cannabis in our negotiations with Russia. What do we have to lose?”

The former Green Party candidate polled about 2% nationally and did not secure a ballot position in every state in the past election. The Party has complained about the lack of coverage for third-party candidates, which they say contributes to their low poll numbers nationwide. However, those who study politics, like the University of Chicago’s James Badwater, Ph.D., have a different opinion.

“Look, here’s the thing,” said Professor Badwater in a Fazzler telephone interview. “I think the lack of coverage helped both the Jill Stein and Robert Kennedy campaigns. We’ve seen how badly things went for Robert Kennedy when he gets in front of a camera. And look at this nonsense from Jill Stein. I mean, homeopathy as a part of foreign policy? What does that even mean? Imagine this clip getting out on CNN or some other television network. She’d then be thankful for that 2% vote.”

Ms. Stein was meeting with a local anti-vaccine group in Asheville, which might have explained her strange position. But even members of “Out-Vaxxed,” the group she spoke to at the French Broad Food Co-Op, were confused by her foreign policy talk.

“We’re an anti-vaccine group, not some weird homeopathy cranks,” said Seth “Juggles” Smith outside the Co-Op. “I mean, it’s just water. I don’t get it, and I don’t think this kind of thing will help her get any votes.”

Follow-up calls to Jill Stein have gone unanswered.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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