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North San Juan, CA — North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop store that the Australian City of Gold Coast is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.

Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls “the Gold Coast anomaly” for the past 3 years.

“There’s this thing I learned on the Internet called the Bielefeld effect,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Wolford in a The Fazzler telephone interview. “It’s where there’s this illusion that some place actually exists. People talk about it. They even claim to know people there. But it’s all fake. They’re either part of the conspiracy to keep the hoax alive, or they’re delusional. Clearly this is a ruse by the so-called Gold Coast Tourism Corporation to sell real estate to foreigners.”

The Bielefeld effect, also known as the Bielefeld conspiracy, spread in 1994 on the German Usenet, which claimed that the city of Bielefeld does not actually exist, but is an illusion propagated by various Illuminati forces.

Originally an Internet phenomenon, the effect has since spread to other hoax cities like Gold Coast. To this day German Chancellor Angela Merkel, refers to Bielefeld in her speeches, even though the city doesn’t actually exist.

To the causal onlooker, this looks like a reasonable depiction of the Australian Gold Coast. However this is an elaborate Photoshop provided by the CIA.
To the causal onlooker, this looks like a reasonable depiction of the Australian Gold Coast. However this is an elaborate fake Photoshop provided by the CIA.

Gold Coast is supposedly located on the east coast of the Australian State of Queensland, and has been promoted as a holiday spot since the conspiracy was started over 100 years ago. The city is also a famous surfing spot. However, after three attempts to contact the local government by The Fazzler with no success, Mr. Wolford’s observations seem less bat-shit crazy.

“Look,” continued Mr. Wolford,”It’s really simple to prove that Gold Coast doesn’t exist. All you have to do is answer these three questions. Number one. Do you know anyone from Gold Coast? Two. Have you ever been to Gold Coast? And lastly, number three. Do you know anybody who has ever been to Gold Coast? And don’t say Fraser Anning.”

The Fazzler reached out to the local community and asked them Mr. Wolford’s three questions.

Christopher J. Rushin of Grass Valley, CA
Christopher J. Rushin of Grass Valley, CA says there’s nothing but trees where Gold Coast should be.

Gold Coast is not a real city! Google it and you will find out for yourself! I actually lived in Brisbane back in the 1990s and drove to where Gold Coast was supposed to be,” said Christopher J. Rushin who currently lives in Grass Valley, California. “I’ve been ‘there,’ there’s nothing there but trees and houses and people and shit. No signs of civilization whatsoever. And even if there was such a place, I don’t surf, so I wouldn’t go there.”

Others were more philosophical about the hoax, maintaining that they might have only dreamed about the city.

“I‘ve been to the Gold Coast, and now that I think about it, it probably doesn’t actually exist,” commented Justin Anderson of Penn Valley, California. “The place did seem too perfect, like a dream or something.”

Still others were a part of the conspiracy calling people who believe such things “stupid idiots.”

“I’m a truck driver. I live in North Lakes, and I had many shipments in and out of Gold Coast,” said a Queensland truck driver who wished to remain anonymous. A fact that bolsters his status as a Mossad/CIA operative. “As a matter of fact, my wife grew up in the Gold Coast/Brisbane area. So for you to even insinuate that Gold Coast doesn’t exist as a town or city whatever you want to call it, makes me believe you are an idiot. Or a troll. Or an American.”

As for Mr. Wolford, he gave The Fazzler an old “I told you so.”

“Nice try,” continued Mr. Wolford. “You thought I was making this up, didn’t ya? Well now you know what I know. As soon as you ran into someone who was a Mossad operative, they immediately start calling you an idiot for calling out the Gold Coast hoax. But you get used to it after a while. Your skin gets tough with this thing I like to call ‘The Truth.'”

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