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Penn Valley, CA — A man wearing a T-shirt with the inscription “I Don’t Call 911” with a picture of tow handguns has never fired a gun.

“I know, right?” said Carl Rennie, seemingly questioning himself. “I wear this because it makes me feel manly and shit. And it lets people know I’m self-reliant and pro-2nd amendment and stuff like that.”

Mr. Rennie of Grass Valley has never fired a gun as much as a water pistol. He likes to talk big on the local Facebook groups about the importance of arming all citizens to protect them, in his words, “from the bad guys and the government.”

“People need to wake up and understand that Pelosi is trying to take our rights from us,” continued Mr. Rennie. “I mean, look at all the confiscations recently. They were here in my neighborhood just the other day. And if she takes our guns, how will we defend ourselves against radical Islam and other Democrats?”

According to other Grass Valley residents, the shirt made them feel uncomfortable.


“I get nervous around anyone who’s too ‘gung-ho’ about guns,” said Mary Stewart out in front of Downtown Safeway. “I get the 2nd amendment thing, but guys like this seem unstable and ‘overcompensating’ if you catch my drift.”

The Fazzler attempted to continue the interview with Mr. Rennie before speeding off in his large Dodge Pickup, but he drove away before we could ask any follow-up questions.

“Typical,” continued Ms. Stewart. “Look at that asshole drive off. We’re in a parking lot for Pete’s sake.”