State of Jefferson Supporter Traveling to Mars with Cow Anuses

State of Jefferson Supporter Traveling to Mars with Cow Anuses

Nevada County, CA — A State of Jefferson supporter commented on Facebook earlier this week that s/he plans on traveling to Mars in a bathtub built with rocket engines made of cow anuses.

I’ll let you know how my mission to Mars is going,” commented the Facebook participant. “I’m using a bathtub that holds the liquid oxygen and re-directed cow anuses as the rocket motors.”

The above Facebooker provided no additional information about the cow anus rocket innovation, nor how s/he plans to survive on the hostile Martian surface without proper life support systems.

The State of Jefferson is a proposed U.S. state that would span the contiguous, mostly rural area, of southern Oregon and northern California, where several attempts to secede from Oregon and California, respectively, have taken place in order to gain statehood. Supporters maintain that these rural counties are grossly under-represented in their state legislatures and they seek to establish a new state. Although the movement has some momentum and it has its share of supporters, most people believe that the new proposed state has about as much chance of succeeding as an ice-cube in Tucson, due to the extremely difficultly of creating a new state. Americans also seem quite satisfied with its anal-retentive even number of 50 states. Moreover, people who are sympathetic to the movement believe that the rhetoric of the Jefferson State supporters is alienating them from more mainstream supporters. Or something.

As one more pragmatic Facebooker commented, “[t]he idea of a 51st state is valid, but it ain’t never gonna happen: you’re tilting at windmills, wasting your energy, and pissing people off. The political hurdles to create a new state are onerous, the idea is dead in the water before you even get started.”

Supporters were quick to respond.

Then you shouldnt[sic] be wasting your time on this site,” one reactionary poster commented as if to tacitly approve of censorship in the new state. “You’re so certain that we’re wasting our time, why are you wasting yours? I’ve heard it before, many times. I’ve spent the last year exhibiting at public events. Your views are not a new revelation.”


Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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