Study: Donner Party Would Have Survived If They’d Only Taken Interstate 80

Mountain View, CA — A new 2-year study conducted by the Rundex Family Foundation and underwritten by the James Webb Telephonic Association found that the ill-fated Donner Party would have all survived if they had just traveled up Interstate 80 and over Donner Summit.

“You think they would have moved towards Donner Summit,” said Rundex lead researcher Robert Colvin from his Mountain View, CA home office. “I mean, it would be hard to miss a place named after you,” he chuckled.

The Donner Party was a group of American pioneers who migrated to California in a wagon train from the Midwest. Delayed by many mishaps, they spent the winter of 1846–1847 snowbound in the Sierra Nevada mountain range. Some migrants resorted to cannibalism to survive, eating the bodies of those who had succumbed to starvation, sickness, and extreme cold. At the time, the Interstate freeway system didn’t exist.

“It would have been slow-going since they didn’t have all-wheel drive vehicles, but it would have been much simpler than trying to lift their wagons manually up and over the pass,” continued Colvin. “But live and learn, I guess. In their case, it was eaten and learn.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Drag Queen Storytime of the Constitution Confuses Republicans

Republican leadership, meanwhile, scrambled to respond to the unfolding crisis of constitutional literacy among their ranks. An emergency meeting was called to discuss strategies for combating what they termed "the sudden outbreak of understanding basic civil liberties."

Trump Blames the Price of Eggs in Gaza on The Biden Administration

In a bewildering rally speech, Trump accused the Biden Administration of causing skyrocketing egg prices in Gaza, linking it to Big Mac inflation, leaving supporters and pundits scrambling to make sense of his global food economics.

Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location

Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.