The USS Gerald Ford Awkwardly Stumbles at Sea

The USS Gerald R. Ford seen here in a Defense Department file photo.
The USS Gerald R. Ford is seen here in a Defense Department file photo.

Newport, VA — The USS Gerald R. Ford has reportedly faced numerous issues at sea, the Newport News reported this week. The aircraft carrier, which is a part of the United States military’s new “Ford” class supercarrier group, was reported to trip, stumble and even crash into several docks according to the Virginia-based paper. In at least one incident, she nearly missed colliding with another unidentified vessel when joining the rest of the fleet in March 2016.

“I want to make it very clear that there are no integrity issues with the USS Gerald R. Ford,” said Department of Defense Secretary Ashton Carter commenting on the 13 billion dollar aircraft carrier in a press conference this week. “The USS Gerald R. Ford is our nation’s most advanced and sophisticated carrier. And although there have been instances with tipping, and at least two cases where it smashed into docks, we’re chocking this up to operator error and not due to any design or build issues with the vessel. The USS Gerald R. Ford is strong and projects America’s  freedom around the world.”

Construction began on 11 August 2005. She was christened on 9 November 2013. The schedule called for the ship to join the U.S. Navy’s fleet in March 2016 with the first deployment in 2019. Gerald R. Ford is replacing the 51-year-old inactive USS Enterprise, which ended her 51 years of active service in December 2012.

Not everyone was as apologetic about the USS Gerald R. Ford’s issues.

“The fact is, Ford kept stumbling around. I don’t want her as part of the fleet,” said actor and comedian Chevy Chase in a brief press release regarding the recent carrier issues. “I want something else in her place. And I have an audience of 20 million followers who know how to change this.”

Along with the missteps at sea, the Ford has also had other less documented klutzy goof including the electromagnetic launching system accidentally catapulting serviceman Raymond B. Williams into the Atlantic Ocean during a maintenance procedure. He was retrieved without injury.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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