U.S. Geological Survey: Yellowstone Eruption Imminent

Artist's rendition Yellowstone's pending eruption.
Artist’s rendition Yellowstone’s eruption where you die.

Yellowstone National Park — Yellowstone National Park is one of our country’s great treasures. It is home to a startling variety of wildlife and untouched forest. But, Yellowstone holds a little-known secret. It is one of the world’s supervolcanoes. The Yellowstone caldera is approximately 35 miles by 45 miles, with a magma chamber 50 miles long and 12 miles wide. The supervolcano erupting three times in the last 2 million years, the most recent 630,000 years ago.

This morning the US Geological Survey (USGS), issued an alarming warning that an eruption is imminent.

The Fazzler was able to talk to Dr. Sara Moser, a vulcanologist with the USGS. We asked Sara what led her to conclude that an eruption is imminent.

“We have seen a major increase in earthquakes and thermal venting,” said Dr. Sara. “We have never seen this much magma building under the park this quickly. The park has increased 21 feet in elevation due to the buildup of magma.”

“We can expect an explosion several times more powerful than the nuclear bomb dropped on Hiroshima,” continued Dr. Moser. “Followed by a massive eruption of 240 cubic miles of ash and rock rising to 60,000 feet, this will blanket cities as far away as St. Louis in 20 feet of ash. Cities close to Yellowstone will be destroyed.” Sara sounded depressed, “The ash will be carried around the world by prevailing winds. A volcanic winter will come, millions if not billions will die.”

Sara told The Fazzler that the imminent eruption will occur on or around June 17th of this year, just in time for the vacation season. FEMA and other government agencies have not responded to our inquiries.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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