Mark Zuckerberg Sues The Fazzler for an Undisclosed Amount

Penn Valley, CAThe Fazzler, usually a reliable source of local news, has landed itself in hot water for what authorities are calling “a cruel hoax.” Sources say that Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg had teamed up with hacktivist group Anonymous to trace the hoax post back to its origin. The post promises that Zuckerberg will hand over a bunch of money to some dummy if they repost it.

Facebook Mark Zuckerberg will give away 4.5 million shares of his Facebook stock tonight at midnight; 10% to people like you and me! All you have to do is copy and paste this to your page and post. Facebook is doing this to show what a powerful connection tool it is !!! I can’t wait to see who wins !!! This is not a hoax !!! It’s on Good Morning America !!

The original post appears to have originated at a South Carolina radio station, WNSJ. The station manager, Mitchell Hedberg, pointed investigators to an email from a Mr. Horace ‘Bored’ Georgeman. The email had been sent to WNSJ by Mr. Georgeman just one day before his untimely death. The radio station posted the email on their Facebook page as a feel-good story on September 9th. Mr. Georgeman was a full-time writer for The Fazzler when he sent the email and had not yet died.

Mark Zuckerberg has served a cease-and-desist on all publishing to our Penn Valley offices and issued a gag order to all The Fazzler personnel. As a result, The Fazzler may not publish anything until Mr. Zuckerberg and the State of California permit it. As this cease-and-desist is legally binding, Mr. Dwayne Gish, The Fazzler’s president, has promised, “No deal!”

“We are the ones who watch the watchers,” pontificates Gish. “We were doing a little experiment to see how viral stupidity can go, but we wanted a timeline.” Explains Mr. Gish, “We had Horace [Georgeman] write up some malarkey about Zuckerberg handing out cash to random people on some pretense or other. Since Horace was expected to die by the time this thing went viral unexpectedly, we assumed all legal and civil repercussions would die with him.”

That is not the case. Besides not complying with the gag order and cease-and-desist, The Fazzler has also promised not to pay a cent to Mr. Zuckerberg toward his $250,000,000 lawsuit against The Fazzler. That is, of course, unless we win his money tonight. Good luck, and thanks for all the data.

Michael Stephen
Michael Stephen
Michael has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it more quickly and with less pain.

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