The 20 Best Places To Move If You’re A Racist
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Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Music
The Fazzler Review: Fear Inoculum by Tool — Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Hype
Can Tool’s Fear Inoculum live up to its labyrinthine lyrics and technical bravado, or is the fanbase’s fervor and critics' praise a testament to rock’s most elaborate inside joke?
Living
Metallica’s James Hetfield Celebrates a PhD in Astrophysics
Metallica heavy metal guitarist and lead singer James Hetfield announced on his personal Facebook page that he had just finished defending his PhD dissertation at California Institute of Technology in Pasadena (CalTech), CA
National News
Trump Announces Plan for Westboro Baptist Church Choir to Perform at His Inauguration
"It's no secret that the Church has never supported any president up until Trump," said Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of former outspoken and controversial leader Fred Phelps, "but with Trump, we finally have an executive who will take the fight right to the gays. We don't even have to protest anymore."
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Editorial
Drag Queen Storytime of the Constitution Confuses Republicans
Republican leadership, meanwhile, scrambled to respond to the unfolding crisis of constitutional literacy among their ranks. An emergency meeting was called to discuss strategies for combating what they termed "the sudden outbreak of understanding basic civil liberties."
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Latest posts
Drag Queen Storytime of the Constitution Confuses Republicans
Republican leadership, meanwhile, scrambled to respond to the unfolding crisis of constitutional literacy among their ranks. An emergency meeting was called to discuss strategies for combating what they termed "the sudden outbreak of understanding basic civil liberties."
Trump Blames the Price of Eggs in Gaza on The Biden Administration
In a bewildering rally speech, Trump accused the Biden Administration of causing skyrocketing egg prices in Gaza, linking it to Big Mac inflation, leaving supporters and pundits scrambling to make sense of his global food economics.
Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location
Roy Riffle - 0
Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.