Alta Sierra, CA — Local amateur cryptozoologist, paranormal investigator, SciFi Channel fan, and amateur astronomer Keith Bradenshauer of Alta Sierra, CA, swears he spotted the illusive “Black Knight Satellite” using his Meade Telescope on Wednesday night. The mysterious satellite is an alleged object orbiting Earth in near-polar orbit that “ufologists” and others believe is about 13,000 years old and of extraterrestrial origin.
“I was out trying to spot the International Space Station,” said an excited and earnest Mr. Bradenshauer in a The Fazzler telephone interview, “when I saw the Black Knight pass in front of the moon. I only had a few seconds to zoom in on it, but I got it.”
The Black Knight Satellite mystery originated in 1954 when newspapers, including the St. Louis Post Dispatch and the San Francisco Examiner, ran stories attributed to retired naval aviation major and UFO researcher Donald Keyhoe saying that the US Air Force had reported that two satellites orbiting Earth had been detected. At this time, no one had the technology to launch a satellite. An object photographed in 1998 during the STS-88 mission has been widely claimed to be this “alien artifact.” Experts maintain that it’s probably space garbage or an orbiting meteorite.
“The government has known about this for years and told us nothing about it,” continued a somewhat exasperated Mr. Bradenshauer. “So what are they hiding from us? Who put it there, and for what purpose? I say it’s a remnant of an ancient Assyrian culture that was destroyed last time Nibiru passed by Earth thousands of years ago. Zecharia Sitchin discovered all of this. And It’s no coincidence I’ve found the Black Knight. Something is going on. Big Time.”
Aerospace and Astronomy experts are generally dismissive of the Black Knight Satellite conspiracy. However, they are quick to point out that just because there’s a lack of evidence supporting the alien satellite scenario doesn’t mean that there’s an alien satellite orbiting the Earth.
“Nowadays, the absence of evidence means there’s some kind of conspiracy going on in some people’s minds,” said CalTech astrophysicist Cameron “Camp” Stevenson. “Worse, people just create evidence to suit their needs. Not long ago, we filled this evidence hole with a healthy bunch of skepticism. Nowadays, every crazy conspiracy theory comes rushing in to fill that void.”
As for Mr. Bradenshauer, he’s not giving up so easily.
“I’m gonna keep at this and my other investigations, too,” he continued. “This is the era of the empowered individual. I’m not gonna let these scientists, who are obviously in cahoots with big business and big government, deter my searches.”