Area Man Not Interested in Using Friend’s Shower

A Charlotte, NC man has declined to take a shower in a friend's bathroom. Source: Joen Schneider
A Charlotte, NC man has declined to take a shower in a friend’s bathroom. Source: John Schneider via Instagram

Stone Mountain, GA — Charlotte, North Carolina native John Schneider politely declined to take a shower in his friend’s bathroom after discovering that he had decorated his bathroom in an unconventional way. Mr. Schneider, 43, had known Erwin Lambert since they attended college in North Carolina and was visiting the Stone Mountain, GA resident for a mini-reunion when his friend suggested he take a shower after the long, 8-hour drive.

“Yeah, I thought it was a great idea and very hospitable of Erwin to let me relax in the shower,” said Mr. Schneider speaking with The Fazzler via a telephone interview. “But I have to be honest, from the moment I stepped into his house, there was something different about him. He had changed in a way I couldn’t put my finger on. Well, I figured it out once I entered his bathroom.”

According to Mr. Schneider, he hadn’t seen nor spoke with Erwin in over 20 years. They had recently reconnected on Facebook, and Mr. Lambert invited him to come and visit.

“I was super excited to hook up with him again,” continued Mr. Schneider. “We were roommates in college. We used to have these marathon History Channel sessions. He loved the shows about the Nazis, which I thought was a little weird because he knew I was Jewish, you know? He’d always make these funny jokes about it, so it was always in good humor. However now, I’m wondering what he was really thinking.”

The Fazzler reached out to Mr. Lambert to discuss his interior design tastes. He bristled when we asked him if he thought the Nazi Swastika was appropriate bathroom decor.

“Look, man,” said an irritated Mr. Lambert. “It’s a joke. Do you get it? If you have to explain the joke, it’s not funny. But I’ll explain it to you media morons. It’s a Nazi shower. Get it? Like the extermination camps in Europe? That’s the joke. It’s not politically correct or anything like that, but so what?”

Mr. Schneider said that he left his friend’s house almost immediately, telling him that he had an unexpected family emergency.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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